He was sitting in the passenger's seat next to me, and we were on Hwy. 1 headed home from outreach. He was staring at me like only Jeffrey does - about 16" away from my face, his eyes fixed on me, his face downward just enough to look mischievous (those of you who know him know what I'm talking about). I didn't have to turn my head to know what was happening. His melodramatic gestures were clear out of the corner of my eye.

"Crusty Beans!" were the next words out of his mouth. He used that whiny tone of voice that probably hasn't changed since he was 6 - except it's probably gotten louder. "This is disgusting," he said, "look at this."

"Ohhh, that's nasty," I said, looking at the burrito he was holding for me to see. "At least mine isn't that dry," I thought to myself. Then I took another bite.

"EEEEEWWW." Jeffrey declared, looking at my burrito. "Yours is just as nasty." And that time it was...

I'd stopped by the KFC/Taco Bell right off of Pinetree Way in Coquitlam on my way to pick up Jeffrey from a Bible study. I ordered four 7-layer burritos. Apparently, they misunderstood the order, because they gave us four crusty-bean burritos.

I've had a pretty good experience eating out - or at least not any really bad ones. The worst experience I can remember was two 7-layer burritos I got at a Taco Bell in Cincinnati, Ohio. I was eating as I was driving home when I noticed the burrito was leaking a bit. I adjusted the wrapping so it would catch the drips and kept eating. About two bites later I got a mouthful of bean soup. It seems they scraped the lettuce from the bottom of the pan. When they did, they got some of that green water that's lingered there since Taco Bell opened. I tried to finish the burritos - I really did, but the bean soup was rebelling. Every bite I took added to the number of insurgents inside my stomach. "Freedom!!" Was their cry. It was clearly audible most of the night. I expected, at any moment, that one of their suicide bombers would detonate himself, causing wide-spread chaos. It was all I could do to maintain control and suppress them. We were eventually able to work out a peace agreement, and they quieted down and left the next day.... I didn't eat at Taco Bell for almost a year after that.

That was three years ago. Tonight I was wishing they'd dug a little deeper in the lettuce pan. I found that if I let each bite linger long enough in my mouth, the beans would re-hydrate enough to swallow. But I feared if I didn't swallow them soon enough, their predecessors might try and join them. I was finally able to finish off one of the two 7-layers. The 2nd one is sitting in the fridge.

In the States, Taco Bell is imitation Mexican food. Here in Canada, Taco Bell is imitation Taco Bell - it's like a copy of a copy. We've ordered bean burritos, only to be informed that they were temporarily out of beans... Every time I eat there I'm appalled at the price - $17 for four crusty-bean burritos. More than once we've driven all the way down to the United States and crossed the border to get real Taco Bell.

So I've decided to take drastic measures. I'm boycotting Imitation Taco bell now. I'm not spending $4 on an empty tortilla (or one filled with crusty beans) in Canada anymore - and CERTAINLY not at the KFC/Taco Bell on Pinetree Way in Coquitlam! Though I might forget... Maybe I'll frame the crusty-bean burrito and hang it on my wall as a reminder - it's already been dried, so it should keep just fine.