The Toaster Made Me Do It

Thursday, March 27

I just did it again - I put two slices of bread in the toaster. Nobody needs two slices of toast, but they always put two slices of bread in the toaster simply because there's two slots - "just because"... The obesity epidemic in America is clearly the fault of the toaster.

You Tell Me

Monday, March 24

What's the most appropriate caption for this image? You tell me! Submit your captions for a chance to win!

GRAND PRIZE: A full-resolution version of this image!

SECOND PLACE: A thumbnail version of this image!

ODDS OF WINNING: Pretty good.

DEADLINE: Whenever.

Spring Break

Friday, March 21

Well, today's the last day of spring break. I've tried to go hiking and wanted to go camping, but the weather just hasn't cooperated. It's been sunny at times, but there's just too much snow on the ground. But I still TRIED! Here's my story:

Last spring break came about mid-April. Though the winter had been more dismal, with more precipitation, it seemed that those couple of extra weeks really made a difference, because there was a LOT less snow than this time. Any snow at this time if year is just miserable - it's all heavy and wet. You can't hike in it, and you can't drive through it. It just kind of sits there as if to say, "I'm not having any fun, so you can't either!"

My first attempt was Mt. Cheam. This is my third time driving up to that mountain. The first time I was stopped about 7 miles from the trailhead by slimy, slushy snow. The second time I was stopped almost the exact same place by a water bar (we were in Toni's car). The time I made it past both of those places by about 1/2 mile before getting stuck in 8" of slushy snow. Imagine trying to drive through 8" of ICEE - except it's not blue. So that was disappointing. On top of it, the clouds rolled in and I couldn't see the sunset or get the pictures that I went there for - real bummer. So I went somewhere else.

This time it was Chehalis Lake. This is an area I'm familiar with. This is where Evan and I spent spring break last year. We read about this great little lake called Statlu Lake. It's about 5mi. above Chehalis Lake. There was a road to Chehalis and a 4x4 trail about 3 miles up toward Statlu. We packed up our bags expecting to make base camp at Statlu and spend 3-4 days making day hikes from there. Maybe that happens in some parallel dimension where everything goes as planned. That's not what happened here.

Long before we ever got to Chehalis, we got stuck at a washed out bridge. We decided not to let that stop us, so we hike the 30km to Statlu. At the end of day one, however, we realized we didn't pack nearly enough food. So we started rationing. Day two we reached Statlu, but it started raining (by this time we were well above the snowline, and there wasn't much to do in the way of day-hikes, especially in the rain). Morning of day three we gave up and broke camp. We ate the rest of our food on the hike back, and were still starving when we reached the truck. 3 days and 50+ km. I'll never forget that one...

I was remembering all these things on my way to Chehalis this past week. My plan was to drive to the Northern camp and get pictures of the sun setting over the lake and mountains. I knew this might not happen because of a giant mudslide that took out a large portion of the road back in December.

They'd been doing a lot of fresh clear-cutting in the region. Portions of the road were closed from 7am to 5pm because of the lumberjacks. Technically, I wasn't supposed to drive through there, because it was only 4:30, but I decided to take my chances.

When I got to the bridge that had washed out the previous year, I was happy to see that it had been repaired. Somehow, it didn't surprise me in the least to find a large yellow gate with a big red sign reading "closed until further notice." I suppose it would have been strange if things had gone as planned. So I parked my truck and walked up to the gate. That's when I noticed that it wasn't bolted.

Now I don't think I'm really that different than any of you. If put in a similar situation, I'm sure you'd do exactly what I did - I opened the gate and drove through! I mean, it wasn't locked - how was I to know it didn't just blow closed? I'm sure 300lb steel gates blow closed all the time! Of course I didn't want to make a scene, so I closed the gate behind me and went on my merry way. About 1/2 way along my merry way, my brain playing out nearly every possible (and impossible) scenario I could conceive! What if there's workers up here repairing the damage done by the slide? Will I get fined? They'd have to call the police out - surely it's not worth it, they'll probably just chew me out. What if it's a trap? What if the forrest service is tired of people trespassing so they left the gate unlocked and hid in the woods, waiting for an unsuspecting trespasser and then they rush out and lock the gate behind them? What would I do if I got locked in? I've seen big trucks try and break through these gates, there's no way my tacoma could force it open. Maybe I could cut it - except I don't have a metal saw. Maybe I should carry one of those metal saws with me for situations like these. After all, they're so frequent... What if I could pick the lock? That's far less destructive and easier. Then I could get through ALL of the gates across BC! What a splendid idea! When I get home, I'll google lock picking - that is, if I get home... No saw, no lock picking skills, how will I get out? If only I had some C4!

I know, all the girls that are reading this are like, "What in the world, this guy needs to get real." But I can assure you, this is normal. All the guys reading this had thought of blowing the gate open with C4 long before I mentioned it!

So I turned around and went back to the gate. I wasn't about to give up on my adventure though, so I just opened it and left it open so whoever else might be in there would realize that someone had come in behind them and they wouldn't leave and lock me in - at least I hoped not... Instead they might call search and rescue, and that would be even worse!

It took me about 15 minutes to cover the same amount of territory that Evan and I hiked in 3 hours last year. And I wasn't even driving all that fast. 1/2 the time I was fighting my way through 10-12" of off-white ICEE. There were some downed trees along the road too. I pulled one out of the way, and drove over another. When I made it to the first bridge I was disappointed to see a large tree that had fallen on the other side. That proved to be the end of my trip. I got out and got some snapshots of the waterfall. They turned out really nice.

I suppose I could have drug the tree out of the way with my truck. I did have my tow-rope with me, but that idea didn't occur to me until later. Even then, I'm not sure I could have made it through the snow - it was getting pretty heavy. So I turned around and headed back.

Along the way, my mind was dreaming up what I might find when I got back to the Chehalis bridge. Would there be anyone there? Would I be locked in? Would be police be waiting for me with the SWAT team and helicopters?

When I rounded the last corner my heart went into my throat for a moment. There was a whole line of trucks on the bridge waiting to get out. "These must be workers from some side-road that came out after I'd passed by", I thought to myself. That means I made it out just in time! 10 more minutes and I'd have been locked in for the night - or the whole weekend! As I drove up behind them I noticed two ATVs.

"That's kind of strange" I thought, "I wouldn't think workers would be on ATVs." Then someone on the back of one of the ATVs turns around and looks at me. The following conversation took place in my mind in about 21/100ths of a second:

"Act like you're one of the crew."

"What's that mean? What does the 'crew' look like?"

"Construction workers - they look kind of scruffy and unkept."

"I do look kind of scruffy, but I think my Colorado plates would give me away."

"Maybe they won't notice that. Just act nonchalant."

"I could just play the dumb American, 'I'm sorry, I can't understand you, I no speaka Canadian.'"

"Maybe I'll just glare at them. If they think I'm mean they won't ask questions."

Turns out to be a girl, and she smiled and waved. So I smiled and waved back - so much for glaring... Then I realized that these were all trespassers, and we were all here illegally. Suddenly my heart sank. I thought I was on this grand adventure, doing something totally illegal that I could really get in trouble for, and I was really sticking it to Big Brother... But this happens all the time. People always open the gate and go 4x4ing. Big Brother doesn't care. That gate is probably never locked.

So my quest for a great adventure continues. One of these day's - one of these days...

Some of the clear cutting.

The gate - pretty intimidating, eh?

More of the clearcut.

The pictures of the waterfalls will go up in my portfolio tomorrow!

Blessings

Wednesday, March 19

The Lord has blessed me with some awesome friends. I've been going over thousands of pictures from the past year. It's been a reminder of how blessed I am to have these people in my life. Here's a few of the pictures:

These are the people to talk to about how to raise your kids! I know, you think you have good kids - that's cause you haven't talked to them! :)

If you thought eating rice with chopsticks is tough, try eating Skittles!

Jeffrey may not appreciate this photo, but it can't harm his reputation any more than the one he put up on facebook, so...

It's a little crab... It was a little crab.

Imagine you're at home at 9PM. You're getting kind of hungry, so you decide to go to the kitchen and make yourself a snack before you go to bed. As you round the corner into the kitchen you see a man, but before you can run, he shoots you. That's why Iasmin looks surprised in this picture.

I get shot too sometimes...

One of these is not like the others...

Jerick - this guy is an incredible artist, and he cranks out pictures faster than an Ink Jet!

Even a bad picture is better than no picture at all. A photographer friend once said that he didn't go through his college photos criticizing how underexposed they were, or how harsh the flash was. It's true. When you're going back over memories, you're just laughing your head off remembering the crazy things you did. These wonderful people gave us a ride to the top of Mt. Cheam after we got stuck about 7 miles short of the trailhead.

Jeffrey, Israel, Jay, Yamil, and Moriah - they even look cool...

This is Alicia. Alicia is on a Skidoo. It is illegal for Alicia to drive a car by herself in Canada. Alicia is driving the Skidoo. There is nobody else on the Skidoo. Alicia was the only one smiling...

Our fearless leader (the big chubby one)

And of course...

The Team, 2008

I also thought I'd mention a couple of blogs that would be of interest to some of my readers. First is Wezley Espinosa. I met Wezley when I was Bible working in Ohio back in 2004 at Youth For Jesus. He was just a little punk then. In 2006 I was assisting the Wilderness Way crew with the Witness for Life students. That was the same year that Wezley went through the Witness for Life program. We had a great time at Wilderness Way. Wezley is hilarious, and I don't think I've laughed so hard since then! The following year Wezley was working as a Bible worker with YFJ in Louisville, KY. He then worked with SAU for a semester, training Bible workers, before heading off to the Congo. He's been in the Congo for only a few months, and he's already been in trouble with the authorities - not unusual, but he's also engaged! How time flies! It was only four short years ago that I met a little punk in Ohio. Now Wezley's getting married. How this all came about is a must-read. You can follow the link on the left, or click here.

Then there's Olivia Webber. I first met Olivia back in Dallas in 2006 at YFJ (yes, everyone I know I met at ASI or GYC). Olivia liked photography, and was just getting started with a Canon 300D and a kit lens. She had an eye for composition and a photographer's enthusiasm. Well, with a bit of determination and commitment, it's really paying off. I just went to her site today and was blown away with the pictures I saw. I had to leave because I was getting jealous! haha. The pictures she's getting are amazing - very professional. Sure, she's got a camera that I can only dream of, but she's had that for a while, and I've seen a marked improvement in her photos recently. You should swing by her blog and check it out. There's a link on the left, or you can click here.

It's spring break and I'm still stuck here. But I'm not twiddling my thumbs... Actually, I am twiddling my thumbs, but I have good reason. I've been pouring over maps and budgets and gear. And if that doesn't give it away, you'll just have to wait a couple of weeks to see what's happening. I'm really excited about this! (And no, André, it's not a Valentine's blog...)

Aperture

Thursday, March 13

That's right, I got Aperture last week! Well, at least I got the free 30-day trial. I resisted buying it until this week! (For those who don't know, Aperture is a program for sorting, processing, and archiving large quantities of photos. It's only available for Mac.)

Now it's not entirely my fault that I bought Aperture. Yamil made me do it. It costs $200, which is pretty steep, but it's very good at what it does. In the last few days I've sorted and processed more images than I was able to do in the whole month before, and I'm still learning to use it.

On Sunday, I was showing Yamil what I was able to do with Aperture. He looked it up online and found he could get it for $70 with the educational discount (which RL qualifies for). On Tuesday, I got an e-mail informing me that he'd ordered two copies - one for himself, and one for me. So much for saving money... (Actually, I just blame him because it makes me feel better about the money I'd have spent anyway).

This will help a lot! Hopefully you'll be seeing more pictures because I'll actually be able to process. Until then, here's a few that I did this past weekend:

mt. baker at dusk

church of the assumption
(i kid you not, i even took a picture of the sign.)

heard of lion's gate films? well, this is where the company got it's name - lion's gate bridge in vancouver, bc.

Unwell

Monday, March 10

Well, this is the best I've felt since lunch! I looked in the dictionary under unwell and it read:

consult a doctor if you feel unwell.

I wonder what other answers to life's great questions we may find in the Oxford American Dictionary! I should probably be sleeping, but I can't. So I thought I might as well blog. Now that I'm 3 lines into this I feel more like bowing in front the porcelain god in the bathroom... I always forget how miserable it is to be sick. But here I am, so...

Life is too strange to be believed as anything other than reality. Even fiction is not this dubious.

Yesterday I had to go to the States to mail a DVD of wedding pictures to a client. I was driving away when I realized I'd forgotten the DVD... So I went back. On my way out the door the second time, I realized I needed the mailing address of the client, so I went back to get it.

Now, I had a pretty easy time crossing the border to the States, but it's kind of an inconvenience. I'm only about 20 minutes away from Lynden, WA, but it usually takes about an hour to get there because of lineups at the border - and it's the same coming back.

I made it to the post office just before they closed. I grabbed the address, but the DVD was nowhere to be found. I searched high and low, but no DVD. "What in the world..." I thought out loud. That was the whole reason I came down to the States in the first place. So I ran to the mini storage, got gas, and headed back to Canada.

When I got home, there was the DVD on my desk, lying right where I left it when I came back to get the address...

"Brandon," Jay said, "how does that happen? You seem like a very logical individual and that's a very illogical thing."

Thanks for the support, Jay! He's the one that suggested I blog this.

At lunch today I mentioned that I haven't been sick at all this year. Not 30 minutes later I felt a sore throat coming on. Now I feel like I'm writing this from my death bed. There's no use in seeing a doctor. The only thing they could tell me, I already know: "You won't live through the night... I'm sorry." When they say they're sorry, I believe it - that's one less returning customer...

Friends, it's been good, but I should probably click publish before I expire. Goodnight and farewell.

Melodramatic, adjective:

he flung the door open with a melodramatic flourish.

Well, no guidance for life there...